If I don’t get laid soon I’ll lose my mind in all these sexual posts.

Okay seriously this bitch is getting obsessed with me. Telling me she had a dream about me now. Giving me her address. Keeps trying to hang out with me. I didn’t ask. Get the hint girl your like 26. Grow up and stop chasing 19 year olds. You’re making me uncomfortable.

Ugh damn I have this girl starting to annoy me. I’m trying to be nice about it but c’mon if you text me a whole bunch of stuff and I don’t respond stop texting! No I’m sorry I don’t want you. Please respect that. I’ll be your friend but you’re trying too hard.

I need to get laid :/

Never had to use this sentence until today. Lol my life! :/

Too many thoughts going through my head. I’ve just spent the past 4 days staying at my friends apartment. He’s 21 and lives very comfortably alone in a 2 bedroom apartment. So yea I spent the last 4 days hanging out with him and sleeping there and just going to work from there. I was at peace. As soon as I get back to my house I feel this stress come back to me. My parents get home and stupid arguments start again. Petty things like “why aren’t the dishes clean? Who keeps leaving them here?” Asshole I wasn’t even here for the last 4 days! The thing about my dad is he likes to prove he’s “the man” of the house and he decides all the goings of the house. He literally blows everything out of proportion just so he can try to be right about everything. And my mom just sits there and just stares. I look at her and she just looks back with that blank “I know but what are we going to do?” face. I go grab a drink from the fridge and a whole other argument starts with my dad about how the drink isn’t for me and that I need to buy my own stuff. I argue with him to the point where my mom is breaking it up telling me to just be quiet. Then he likes to randomly shove his whole story on how if I want to be treated like a man I need to take care of my responsibilities and if I’m so bothered by everything I should move out like he did when he was only 16. Asshole you where born in the fucking fifties when gas was 50 cents and 5000$ was a lot of money. It’s 2013 where everything’s gone to shit and a lot of people have to work 2 jobs just to get by. I’m only 19. I work. I’m trying to get an education that I can’t afford. I have to pay for gas, my phone, my car insurance, and they expect me to pay rent. They still complain when I have a girl over. And they treat me like I am 13 years old. I’ve come to the point where I want to move out. My friend is basically telling me I can move in with him. But I get the feeling that yea I’ll won’t have to deal with my parents bullshit anymore but the the bullshit of bills, and money and basically life. I’m debating whether or not it’s worth it. I don’t know how my friend does it alone. Ugh I’m just so frustrated with my position in life right now.

God I miss sex.

Yesterday I was randomly talking to someone that has grown close to me in recent times. She’s a bit younger than me and less open to the world I feel but yea anyways! She spoke to me about one of her exes that she ran into at a party. She’s told me how she thought he was an asshole and he was a piece of shit all that. So yea being at a party they were under the influence and all barriers were off. They end up laying together on a couch and he apparently says he still has feelings for her. And at that point she tells me “I’ve always thought that you knew you’re in love with someone when even though they treated you like crap it still hurt when they were gone. Never again.” Something about how she randomly said that just clicked with me. Her random epiphany just made me realize the same thing. I just never expected that from her.

Finally made it to 200 followers lmao.

Is it wrong that I still think of that afternoon? It was so random. So unplanned. So unexpected. I didn’t mean for anything to happen. But something did. It was a spur of the moment. It felt right. For a second everything else just blanked. Barriers were gone. Time felt still. It was like our minds just connected for just the right moment. It was perfect. Like it was meant to happen. It means a lot more to me than what you may believe and wether or not you care, I did.